Winding Yarn

The response to the yarn collection for the women's prisoners has been overwhelming and that is a great thing. Today Joe began to unload the bags that I have been picking up this week from the area yarn stores, which were drop off points.

Catie and her friend Courtney assisted as we began to sort, wind and pack. The girls enjoyed it and sat talking about what it must be like to be in jail. I was proud of them as they chose to spend the afternoon helping.



We are almost finished and there is another shipment on the way here, as I write. I just received emails from other knitters who are shipping boxes to my house. I am truly amazed at the kindness people have within them.

I am going to relax for an hour and knit a bit, while Joe cooks us a wonderful dinner of steaks and Botana. I am feeling a bit spoiled today and I love it.

Back in the World

I received a special gift today that will remind me daily that I have a special angel reaching out to me. This angel reaching up to touch her mother's cheek is the most beautiful image. My Dad always told me I had a special Guardian Angel. Now, I know he was right. This gift also makes me remember just how many wonderful people are in my life. I am a lucky woman.

After spending too many days alone in my house, leaving only for Dr appointments and trips to the yarn store, I realized recently that it was really time to get back in the world. You can only sit alone for so long. However, nothing seemed to motivate me.

No one wants to listen to complaints about people's health, however my pain issues were really complicating my life. It frustrated me that I could not garden, like my friends, since even a ride on the riding mower left me with back pain for weeks. I could not redecorate, since the thought of a paint brush was enough to send me looking for pain relievers and nobody around here wants to paint.

Shopping wasn't much fun, since when you stay home you really don't need new clothes. I had a closet full of suits that hung there mocking me. I missed going to work, so I packed them up. The day I did that, I ended up with so much back pain that it took 3 weeks to let up.

I had to find a way to actually start LIVING again and it wasn't going to be anything physical.

I had stopped going to church for a while, preferring to sit in solitude, which was a big mistake. The day I returned it was like the sun began to peek out a bit. I really needed to be there. As I sat reading the church paper, I saw an article about a program called Restorative Justice.

A friend of ours was asking for help to collect yarn to be given to women in prison, so they could knit for charity. Hmmm......Yarn? Right up my alley! I made the call, volunteered to work on it and began to contact my knitting friends.

Last night I visited Threadbear and found HUGE garbage bags filled with yarn waiting for me! I began to receive emails asking for my address so people could ship their donations. I got a call from Yarn Garden, telling me there were MORE garbage bags waiting.

On Tuesday I will have the privilege of going with my friend to the prison to deliver the first batch. I will fill out the papers for my security clearance and be able to volunteer to teach and assist with this program. As I have explained when I appeal for yarn, I am not out to "coddle prisoners" as Arizona Sherriff Joe would say, but Jesus did have something to say about prisoners too.

I am excited about this. It feels good to be excited about something for a change. I believe in rehabilitation. I have to believe that these women in prison, who are now focusing on giving to others, instead of their own issues, are growing from this project. I know I am.

I may not be able to mow the lawn, but I am finding things I can do. That feels good.

Yep, We are all thinking about her

"The Blog" has been silent for a few days, but we all knew why. It has been a week of trying to stay busy, trying not to think about the obvious. So tonight, I gave that up and decided to go through some happy memories.





We are all missing Karen, this week a little more than all the other days, but I sat here going through old photos tonight and it was good to see her smiling face. Laura and I were riding home tonight and we began to tell "Karen Stories" and within moments we were laughing hard.

Yes, we miss her terribly, but we can laugh so hard over millions of Karen moments. After saying something outrageous, Cat often says "Oooops! Karen just jumped in my mouth!" Catie, who has a typical 14 yr old sassy mouth some days, says..."It happens to ME all the time lately!" Then we all laugh and remember.

That is what I miss the most...never knowing what she would come out with and that wonderful, loud laughter. I love this photo so much, as she was enjoying her birthday gifts from her little ones and laughing so hard with them.

Laura and I talked about Angels tonight. We agreed Karen is with us always. We have her laughter in our ears and she will always be in our hearts.

Eaton Rapids Kids Salute Their Military Family

Catie's spring concert was last week and they opened with the National Anthem, which they dedicated to salute those who had family members serving in the military. Catie proudly stepped forward with her sign bearing her Uncle Paul's name. The part that touched my heart is how much the kids put into that song and how obvious it was to all that they were sending their thanks and love to their military family members. One of our locals was home on leave, before going off to Iraq, to watch his neice step forward. I told her Uncle Paul would enjoy seeing her photo. Catie also was selected to announce that night, another first for her. She is gaining self confidence daily and it was a wonderful evening.

Movie clip, courtesy of Youtube

Weekend Adventures

It's no secret that I avoided (boycotted) non smoking places. So I actually miss out on a lot of fun. Friday night my friend and I went to a knitting event. Now before you judge, just know we enjoyed munchies, beer and wine, lots of laughter and good company. I am not a drinker, but it is fun to watch others. The point is.....ONE cigarette all evening!

Saturday night I actually accepted an invitation to a non smoking friend's house. THAT is a first! Joe and I joined 2 other couples for a fun evening and I really was not miserable. I went outside when the craving got bad, lit up....took my little fix and put it out. I made that same cigarette suffice for the evening, visiting it twice. (They are nasty on the re-light).

Now of course, I stopped for a cup of coffee and lit up on the way home, but the miracle is that I am starting to go places, do things and have fun without smoking. I am making progress every day!

I Have to Admit.....

I am feeling better! Now I am not talking about the EXTREME cravings for cigarettes that I fight every minute of the day OR the headaches from withdrawal, but I have had more energy. Mentally, I am feeling energized because I am doing something positive for me. I've only had 2 cups of coffee today!

My daily drop in smoking is sometimes only ONE cigarette less on some days, but it is still less. I figure the less nicotine in my system, the easier it will be on that final COLD TURKEY day. God, I dread that day!

I have received advice from friends to use the crutches and I certainly plan to. Right now it is retraining time. I do not HAVE to have every cigarette I crave. Just thinking about saying no and delaying it, is a miracle for me. I have smoked 7 today so far. It is a far cry from a week ago.

Nights are tougher. As I've said, light 'em and let 'em burn. I hate those because they kill my daily numbers. I am going to work on them soon. For now, I am happy with myself.

Day 7 Brings EXCERCISE!

The sun was shining and the breeze was warm. There were no excuses left, not to begin walking. My first day was slow and not very far, but I got out the leash and had 3 dogs waiting. Rocky went first and he loved going out with me. I pray the warm weather keeps up because it just wasn't bad. I hate to admit, I almost enjoyed it.

My Sock Blankie Obsession!!

The Blankie is growing and so is the obsession. I am having such fun building a patchwork quilt and knitting at the same time. I am trading yarns with multitudes of friends at the two yarn shops I frequent. I am knitting like crazy and loving the results.

Last week was the most fun because Laura joined me at Threadbear for a lesson and started her blankie. We had a ball, complete with "Knitters Juice" to liven the evening. Who says knitters are boring old ladies?

Day 6...Celbrating Victories

Today I got up with the right deterination and motivation. First of all, let us count the good things. I have cut my caffiene by more than HALF. That is ALL the doctor said I had to do, was cut it down. I did it!

I have reduced the coffee so that I am not even finishing the morning pot. Maybe 2 cups total. Yes, I still make one in the afternoon and evening, but I am nursing it slowly and not finishing it. I am now taking glasses of water to bed, instead of my usual coffee. I am actually having nights where I fall asleep before 3am. Amazing!

Yes, it is tough. The cigarettes are the toughest. Every day that I try to reduce is a step closer. Two years ago I was in pain, both physically and with my grief. I just haven't cared even one bit about how much I smoked. All of you understand, I am sure. I realized that I have made a lot of progress.

I care! I want to be healthy! I have important things to do, like watch my girls play dress-up.

I am looking forward to visiting non smoking places without feeling uncomfortable. I am looking forward to feeling better. Right now, I am feeling rough....WITHDRAWAL!

Spring Has Sprung!

Joe is back behind the grill....Thank God! I am not in love with cooking, as I was in my younger years and he loves to grill. The steaks were wonderful!

Cat Barf

God love Sabrina, cuz there are days when I do not, like the morning I found this. Sabrina loves my yarn and always loves to climb into the baskets, but I thought it odd that she had pulled it all out. She didn't feel well and when she BARFED, she used the balls of yarn to cover it. Needless to say, I will NOT be knitting with it. Cat, you owe me at least 2 balls!

Joe's Lunch

Joe's family is known to cook some awesome food, however they also have cooked some VERY strange stuff over years. I have watched them eat cactus, brains and mountain oysters. I have fond memories his Dad as he took a large COW TONGUE out of a roaster and licked my face with it. He then tricked me the next day into eating a "roast beef" sandwich. Yep, it was the tongue!

Here is Joe's lunch yesterday, after a trip to the Mexican Grocery store.

Sunday was a BUST

Might as well admit it....no lying in this quest, since I AM going to QUIT. I just didn't count or work very hard at my smoking today and I don't know why. Time to get re-motivated today. I relaxed, watched TV and let tooooo many cigarettes burn in the ashtray while I knit. Monday is a new day! I WILL do this!

Still Dropping....slowly

It was such a warm day that I actually considered exercise. It will have to wait a bit until it gets just a little warmer before I start dog walking, although the kids had a ball outside today.

I thought Joe would be in shock when I agreed to go to a non-smoking restaurant for lunch. When I actually suggested going to the non-smoking coffee shop to listen to a quartet that was playing tonight he had to admit this was getting serious. We went and enjoyed ourselves and I only struggled once. I went outside, lit up and threw it away. THAT is a first for me....I never throw them away.

I did have to stay very busy today (my back aches badly to prove it) in order to avoid smoking. I didn't falter until the evening knitting session (and we know they shouldn't count) and the total for the day was down by 2....including the ones I didn't really smoke.

Day 3....Do ALL cigarettes count?

Ok, official count was 32.....down by 8 from 40, but not exactly earth shattering results. I told myself, it's only the first day of reduction, right? WRONG! It is the first time I have ever sincerely tried. IT IS HARD!

I kept a tally board in the kitchen, marking down every one. It mocked me all day. You would think busy times would be easier, but not so. I am used to lighting them and letting them burn while I stop by occasionally to visit my beloved cigarette. Housework just wasn't the same without the occasional reward and I didn't want to waste one burning.


I knew night would be the worst time. When I settle in to watch TV and knit away, I burn through a LOT of cigarettes that just lay there while I knit. Do these have to count??? I went out to a church dinner (no smoking there) and then to a knitting class (again no smoking) but when I returned it got ugly. Each day will be less.......I promise!

Day Two...Reduction Day

Ok, it's official....I was up to 2 packs a day! Now, I tried to tell myself that it didn't count when I light them and let them burn in the ashtray while I knit, but that is a not going to cut it if I am trying to quit, so I will admit to 40 cigarettes a day...smoked and left to burn.

When I realized I was nearing the end of the second pack, I went to bed early so it wouldn't be any worse. I tend to knit late at night and the number rises quickly. That is why I am up this morning at 6 am. Not my usual time. LOL

I should have stayed in bed and slept away the hours, just to beat the morning urge! Instead, I have had 2 cigarettes with my coffee. The total will be less than 40 today....I promise!

Day One...The Battle Begins!

Today I will smoke every single cigarette I crave. Although it doesn't sound like a way to quit, follow my logic here......FINALLY, I will have an accurate count of how much I smoke. It will be a horrid number, but I have to face it to beat it.

Tomorrow, the challenge is to cut it down as much as possible. I will see what I can really do by using my willpower. Then I will begin to look for the crutches and aids.....Chantix? Gum? Hypnotism? Whatever it takes!

I have figured out that with today's prices, a cigarette costs about 30 cents. I will begin depositing my savings in a jar labeled COLLEGE TUITION. It will be impossible to take my son's tuition money to buy cigarettes. Once it is in, it stays. With tuition for 2 boys coming soon, the motivation is strong.

Stay tuned, family and friends.....I need your support!

I Will Be Healthy

It is no secret that I can be very stubborn. When it comes to doctors, hospitals and medical care, I am downright paranoid. I am known to cancel appointments, finding ways to "get well" as soon as it is time to go.

First I received a notice from Dr Beals office that they saw some signs of atherosclerosis on a recent Xray. I had also been experiencing some high blood pressure lately that I had been ignoring. Of course, I went to the internet. Reading about hypertension, atherosclerosis and strokes and drove me to call my cardiologist. It had been 2 years since my last checkup and I knew it was time. One thing I fear more than doctors, is having a stroke. Can anyone imagine ME unable to speak? That seems a fate worse than death. When I walked in to the cardiologist's office, I saw this photo....Hmmmm....not me!



I not only made it to the appointment, but actually got the blood drawn for the lab work, showed up for 3 appointments in a week and had numerous tests, including a stress test with an IV inserted. (I am the Queen Chicken when it comes to IVs, I didn't even recognize MYSELF!



With my medical phobias, bossy doctors or unfriendly staff will drive me out the door, never to return. If truth be known, I probably LOOK for excuses to leave! I am fortunate to have found a doctor who genuinely cares and is committed to the prevention of illness. The staff is unbelievable. Each person who conducted tests realized that I needed to know and understand the test and took the time to give me a narrative along the way. For me, actually seeing an accumulation in my artery was enough for me to make some new decisions about my life.

Although my diet is not bad, it is going to be even better. I am going to start excercising, even though I will have to take it slowly. I will start by walking the dogs. If I can make it through that treadmill, I can walk a dog.

YES.....I AM GOING TO QUIT SMOKING!

I have an intricate plan to accomplish this over the next month, since I have never had a desire to quit in my life. While the world quit, I smoked. However, Dr Shah asked me if I was willing to do MY part if he did his job. There was only one answer and we shook on it. "WE" had a plan. This will be a battle and I am committed (and scared) but I have a good army helping me from Dr Shah and his staff to my family and friends, who I know will support me as I fight my addiction.

I was blessed to be sent to the right doctor, because I AM hard headed, stubborn and difficult. It was the right fit. How do you argue with someone who genuinely cares about you? It felt good to know I had a real partner in my quest to be healthy, because I have important things to do in the next 20 years.

I am going to be fine. I am going to dance at my grandchildren's weddings and have a lot of fun along the way.

Time With Daniel

Andy and Daniel spent much of the weekend together and there was a LOT of giggles. Daniel thinks "Uncle Doo Doo" comes close to walking on water. They wrestled more than once and when Papa heard the commotion, he had to jump in.



As they were getting ready to go to the mall for a shopping trip, Andy asked Daniel if he had time to play first. Daniel answered, "I have time for a hug!" That is what makes him so special. He and I spent time snuggled in my bed, watching Blues Clues during what was supposed to be nap time. We didn't sleep, but we did giggle.

Andy then took off for the mall where Daniel picked out a cap, "Just like Uncle Doo Doo" instead of a toy. How lucky we are to have him in our midst. He makes us all giggle.

Memory Keeper Blankie

There is no sense pretending that I don't have a "Yarn Stash" addiction. I tried hiding it in various places and Joe finally decided to clean out a closet and I was busted! Oh, well........I could have worse habits! I tell myself it will all get used, since I now knit every minute that I am not forced to be otherwise productive. I can parent quite well, knitting needles in hand.

The best news for me this month is a project that knitters call a "Stash Buster". I am creating a Patchwork Quilt, by knitting. Using a bit of every yarn I own and trading with others, who call themselves the Memory Keepers, has turned my stash into this work in progress.



The Memory Keepers Blankie is a good name for this project, since there is a bit of every sock I have ever knit and quite a few that I planned to knit, along with the memory of friends who are helping to contribute to this project.

My favorite part? The project itself is addicting! I love playing with each new color and deciding where to place it.

Alexis Bulletin

It has been a rough month for our darling Alexis. Although this photo was taken on the Friday after her emergency appendectomy, by Monday she was not feeling well at all. Her Mom had been smart enough to rush her to emergency the first time when she had a tummy ache and she needed surgery! Many of us would have chalked it up to a stomach virus, but Laura took the precaution to check it out.

By the next day, she seemed to be healing and went home. When she came to celebrate Mikey's birthday dinner on Friday she was still in pain and went to see the surgeon on Monday. Tuesday morning she was back in surgery!

Three different types of infection had developed and as we waited for results, we all prayed hard and as usual, prayers were answered. Alexis is back home, hooked up to anitbiotic therapy and back on the mend. Please keep the prayers coming for a speedy recovery for our little sweetheart.

PS. Alexis DID tell me she was in no hurry to go home, "Because when you are in the hospital the people bring you whatever you WANT!" We have always said she was a smart little girl!

And the winner is.....

Eaton Rapids first won the District title again this year and then went on to beat Fowlerville for the Regional title and is headed once again to State competition! With only 4 Seniors this year, Andy's injury was a great loss to the team and he has been missed.

Justin has moved back and forth betwen weight classes from 130 to 125 and at times down to 119, helping the team to stay strong, in spite of losing Andy. Justin celebrated his 150th win of his high school wrestling career last week and topped off the week by winning at the Individual Regional meet and he will go on to Individual State competition.

The black eye? He said he got a knee in the eye, but didn't feel it....he was too busy winning!