Happy Fathers Day

I miss my Dad today.  I miss him every day.  I have written here many times about how he influenced my life.    It has been 20 years since he passed away and yet, I miss him more than ever.  I miss his silly jokes, watching him do the "fishy dance" with my little kids, listening to him tell "Jenny stories" and hearing him say "While you're up, can you get me a beer?"  Yep, I miss it all.

I miss waking up on a Sunday morning and finding out we were headed for a "new adventure".  We never knew what he would do and that was the fun.  We might take a trip to our grandparents' cottages (never planned) or he was just as likely to buy a plane ticket and head for Florida.  No planning, just spur of the moment fun.....always.

I want to drive down Wildwood Street and see him sitting on the porch in his lawn chair, with his dogs Mickey and Jewel beside him.  That is exactly where you could find him from about May to October every evening.  I used to just get in the car and drive over with my 3 little kids whenever I needed a break.  He loved those kids so much that I could pull up and know that they would be occupied and giggling for hours.  I never knew anyone in my life that could and would spend hours on end just talking to children.  It was his favorite pass time.  

Maybe that is why I miss him so much.  He was a father who really talked to me.  He was interested in everything I said and did.  Not just half listening, but really listening.  As we talked,  I learned so much without ever knowing he was teaching me.  I did know one thing and that was that he loved me and would rather be with me than any adult who came by.  

 I read and hear about parents who spend "quality time" with their children.  My Dad spent ALL of his time with us.  Sure, he went to work, but if it was a Saturday and we wanted to go along, he took us.  We knew that meant we would get lunch at the local bar on the way home.  Once we arrived, he didn't go sit with his buddies, but ordered us each a hamburger or hot dog and then sat down and we would play a make-believe game.  My name would be "Joe" and his name would be "Joe".
 We were two buddies, sitting at the bar, talking about our lives.  We would role play forever.  "How's life, Joe?"  he would say...."Pretty good, Joe.  How about you?." I would answer.
 "Do your kids need new shoes?"  he would ask.  "Yeah, they probably do" I would say.  "Well, I know where you can find some extra work to earn that money.  Are you interested?  My rose bushes need to be weeded and I am paying good money."  he would say.  And on it went.....

Now when we got home, I would actually weed those rosebushes and he would pay me.  I was learning about life and never knew it through those make-believe conversations.  No lectures, just talking and using imagination.  How much that man taught me!

He was all about family and he made sure we knew it.  How many times  I heard him say "Family is the most important thing in your life." I cannot count, but he didn't just say it, he lived it.  He had few rules, but one of them was "Never go to bed mad."   So many times I had to hug my brother and apologize for being mad before bedtime, but what a lesson it taught me.

We spent our Sundays with our grandparents most weeks, either having dinners together or in the summers at their cottages.  We played pinochle or just sat and visited.  He enjoyed playing poker with my great-grandmother pictured at the left and she loved to see him coming with the cards and a 6 pack of beer.  Even as a young man, he took the time to play cards with an old lady.  It makes me understand why 2 generations later, my brother and I would go to the Senior Citizen apartment building and play cards with my grandmother.  We learned from him that there were good times to be had with our family.

He is in every childhood memory.  He left me with a longing for his company.  This week is always tough.  His birthday is June 14 (which is flag day and he loved flying the flag on his birthday) and Fathers Day falls the same week.  It is always a week of thinking of Dad more than ever.

Once we grow up, we sometimes forget how to play.  He was a bit like Peter Pan and never forgot how to be a child.  He knew how to play.  When an adult plays, children stop and join in and the fun begins.  Looking through old photos, you find so many silly poses and costumes like the one shown at right with my uncles.  He would do anything for a laugh.

He loved his sisters and mother and was definitely not afraid to boast about them.  He could often be heard saying "I have the most beautiful sisters in the world!"  (He also had the smartest kids, the most beautiful children and the best wife).  How nice life would be if we all learned from him to go ahead and praise our families.

Gordon, Madeline, Kaye, Nana, Mona and Dee  having fun at a birthday party

He always told me, "You only go around once, Pal.  Make it fun!"

I am trying, but I sure wish he was still here to enjoy it with me.  We will have a Fathers Day picnic today in the park and have a great time.  I will stop often and think just how much he would love knowing all of my children and grandchildren.

All Because Two People Fell In Love

39 years ago on June 18, 1971 we were crazy kids and we got married.  We were 17 and 18 and had nothing but an old Mustang and a few hundred dollars between us.  We absolutely didn't care about any of the practical things, the planning or the wedding.  We were in love.

We loved our first apartment and furnished it with hand-me downs.  It was ours and that was all that mattered.  We began to create a home where everyone was welcome.  We could always stretch the Kool Aid and spaghetti to feed a couple more and we did.  We played cards and ate popcorn until the wee hours of the mornings with Debbie and Jim. We worked 2 and 3 jobs and still managed to have time together. We listened to Stairway to Heaven and American Pie on an old stereo and we couldn't have been happier.  

When the first "good job" was paying 5.92 an hour, we were ready to have a baby and make our lives complete.  Soon our beautiful Catherine was born and now we needed a house and a dog.  We paid more for our 2004 Chevrolet than we paid for that first house, but we got the dog,  fenced in the yard, put in a sandbox and soon Karen was born.  By this time, brother Mark had joined our family and we needed  a bigger house. With promotions coming along  (and Joe sometimes working 2nd jobs) we bought the next house and added Joey to the family.  We adored our daughters, but now we finally had a son!  

 This photo was taken in 1979 

In spite of numerous promotions, the economy was taking it's toll and Michigan salaries were not rising, although our family was growing.  We moved to Florida where the jobs were plenty and the pay was wonderful.  The sunshine and beaches were like magic after Michigan's days.  Our life with the National Enquirer had begun.  It was an adventure for 8 years!  We met movie stars, spent our evenings on our boat and had wonderful parties with all our friends.  It was a wonderful time of our lives.

One day we realized with 3 children in school that the opportunities for education were just not as good as we had in Michigan.  All our friends were trying to get their children into private schools and crime was rising in our area.  We soon headed home to Michigan and nestled into small town life in Charlotte in a huge, old house with 5 bedrooms.  We still joke about the need to fill those rooms.

Michael and Andrew soon joined  siblings, who were in Jr High and High School.  It was like the whole family had new pets.  We passed them around and they had a multitude of people loving them.  Nothing was cuter than Mike in a Batman costume, trying to fly or Andy sleeping with his baseball mitt.  Cathy went off to U of M and later the Air Force3, Karen got married and made us grandparents and Joey soon did the same.

This photo was taken in 2006, 27 years later and we had grown to 15 of us.  (Joe was posing everyone, while I photographed.)  I think it is the last photo of us all together.  

We experienced the terrible loss of our Karen along soon after this photo, but we remain a strong and loving family.  We are spread so far away geographically, but we remain in touch daily.  It takes about a minute for Joey and Cat to know what is going on at home.  The internet is fast and nobody keeps a secret in this family.

  We have added beautiful little Soleil to our family and we are now 15 strong again. 

 Tonight, as we sat listening to 1970's music, the memories flooded me.  Most of them were good ones and I remain convinced, the best is yet to come.  

Create!

I never considered myself creative in the least.  During art class in elementary school, I would envy those little girls who could take a crayon and create magic.  I had failed before I began because I didn't trust myself.  My world was not filled with any kind of artistic expression and I had no idea where to begin.

Today I realize that my world is driven by my creative endeavors.  I spend each day making sure to find the time to knit, sew or take photographs.  Somewhere along the way, I stopped caring about what others thought of my work and let it become pleasure.

So, I had better get my "work" done for the day so I can get back to the beautiful part of my life!