Happy Fathers Day

I miss my Dad today.  I miss him every day.  I have written here many times about how he influenced my life.    It has been 20 years since he passed away and yet, I miss him more than ever.  I miss his silly jokes, watching him do the "fishy dance" with my little kids, listening to him tell "Jenny stories" and hearing him say "While you're up, can you get me a beer?"  Yep, I miss it all.

I miss waking up on a Sunday morning and finding out we were headed for a "new adventure".  We never knew what he would do and that was the fun.  We might take a trip to our grandparents' cottages (never planned) or he was just as likely to buy a plane ticket and head for Florida.  No planning, just spur of the moment fun.....always.

I want to drive down Wildwood Street and see him sitting on the porch in his lawn chair, with his dogs Mickey and Jewel beside him.  That is exactly where you could find him from about May to October every evening.  I used to just get in the car and drive over with my 3 little kids whenever I needed a break.  He loved those kids so much that I could pull up and know that they would be occupied and giggling for hours.  I never knew anyone in my life that could and would spend hours on end just talking to children.  It was his favorite pass time.  

Maybe that is why I miss him so much.  He was a father who really talked to me.  He was interested in everything I said and did.  Not just half listening, but really listening.  As we talked,  I learned so much without ever knowing he was teaching me.  I did know one thing and that was that he loved me and would rather be with me than any adult who came by.  

 I read and hear about parents who spend "quality time" with their children.  My Dad spent ALL of his time with us.  Sure, he went to work, but if it was a Saturday and we wanted to go along, he took us.  We knew that meant we would get lunch at the local bar on the way home.  Once we arrived, he didn't go sit with his buddies, but ordered us each a hamburger or hot dog and then sat down and we would play a make-believe game.  My name would be "Joe" and his name would be "Joe".
 We were two buddies, sitting at the bar, talking about our lives.  We would role play forever.  "How's life, Joe?"  he would say...."Pretty good, Joe.  How about you?." I would answer.
 "Do your kids need new shoes?"  he would ask.  "Yeah, they probably do" I would say.  "Well, I know where you can find some extra work to earn that money.  Are you interested?  My rose bushes need to be weeded and I am paying good money."  he would say.  And on it went.....

Now when we got home, I would actually weed those rosebushes and he would pay me.  I was learning about life and never knew it through those make-believe conversations.  No lectures, just talking and using imagination.  How much that man taught me!

He was all about family and he made sure we knew it.  How many times  I heard him say "Family is the most important thing in your life." I cannot count, but he didn't just say it, he lived it.  He had few rules, but one of them was "Never go to bed mad."   So many times I had to hug my brother and apologize for being mad before bedtime, but what a lesson it taught me.

We spent our Sundays with our grandparents most weeks, either having dinners together or in the summers at their cottages.  We played pinochle or just sat and visited.  He enjoyed playing poker with my great-grandmother pictured at the left and she loved to see him coming with the cards and a 6 pack of beer.  Even as a young man, he took the time to play cards with an old lady.  It makes me understand why 2 generations later, my brother and I would go to the Senior Citizen apartment building and play cards with my grandmother.  We learned from him that there were good times to be had with our family.

He is in every childhood memory.  He left me with a longing for his company.  This week is always tough.  His birthday is June 14 (which is flag day and he loved flying the flag on his birthday) and Fathers Day falls the same week.  It is always a week of thinking of Dad more than ever.

Once we grow up, we sometimes forget how to play.  He was a bit like Peter Pan and never forgot how to be a child.  He knew how to play.  When an adult plays, children stop and join in and the fun begins.  Looking through old photos, you find so many silly poses and costumes like the one shown at right with my uncles.  He would do anything for a laugh.

He loved his sisters and mother and was definitely not afraid to boast about them.  He could often be heard saying "I have the most beautiful sisters in the world!"  (He also had the smartest kids, the most beautiful children and the best wife).  How nice life would be if we all learned from him to go ahead and praise our families.

Gordon, Madeline, Kaye, Nana, Mona and Dee  having fun at a birthday party

He always told me, "You only go around once, Pal.  Make it fun!"

I am trying, but I sure wish he was still here to enjoy it with me.  We will have a Fathers Day picnic today in the park and have a great time.  I will stop often and think just how much he would love knowing all of my children and grandchildren.