Recently in the news the Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mom, by Amy Chau has caused much controversy. After the first few interviews that discussed Chinese traditional methods of child rearing, I cringed at the thought of such punitive discipline. I could not imagine refusing to allow my little darlings to have friends spend the night, so they could instead practice their instruments or study, long after their homework was finished.
Finally, I had to buy the book. There had to be a reason for so much discussion and just pushing children hard was not enough to generate this much discussion. I cannot put it down. Although the methods are absolutely severe, the reasoning behind it is fascinating and compelling. Amy Chau hit it right on the head when she says that we absolutely teach our children to be disrespectful by allowing them to watch TV shows like "Hannah Montana" where the entertainment is listening to a teen quip sarcastically to her parents as the laugh track plays constantly. It really isn't funny.
Chinese culture teaches respect, both for self and most especially for elderw who have earned it. For a child to converse in a manner that does not show respect is considered a shame unto the family. What an amazing concept! Although, I think it used to be similar in the US a couple of generations ago.
To excell is expected in Chinese culture, yet today our worries are about pushing our children too hard. Chau questions what Americans push their children to do and why. She says that her parent's generation worked very hard to provide and to raise children who were equipped to succeed in the world. She fears raising a child that is "too soft", entitled and unable to do the tough things we all have to face.
Although very wealthy, she made her children do lots of physical labor growing up. She feared she would raise a lazy child who expected things to come too freely. She demanded that they work hard at whatever they chose to do, just to teach hard work. I am not finished with the book yet, but I am starting to see what she is trying to accomplish.
There are many fine young people in this world, but how many struggle into their twenties, still unsure of what they want to do. In Amy Chau's world, this is the luxury of a lazy child. Her thinking seems to be a throwback to the society I grew up in, not the one I raised my children in. I am looking forward to finishing this book, knowing if I was a Tiger Mom, it was a different kind of tiger!
